Old roads, old baggage

So, I decided to share with you something that was just inspired to me. I listened to my inner voice and decided to share. As I was writing it kept pouring out and these words came out. This is all related to my story, but I know someone out there needs this so they too can keep driving through that old road filled with hitch hikers.

As a child, things were never easy for me. From the time I was just a little girl to being an adult I have traveled on many road trips for way too many years. These road trips followed the maps of low self-esteem, low self worth, depression, anxiety, self destruction, self-hatred, self-blame, shame, pain, hurt and loss, but always stuck to the self-destruction stop area. I was chained to this car that made a stop at each of these locations. As you can see, at every stop I picked up a hitch hiker. These hitch hikers followed me for years, their baggage began to take a toll on me. I found myself carrying most of my baggage in my heart. My heart was filled with shame, hurt, guilt, and a sense of loss.
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On my last trip to self-destruction is where I started to see it in a whole new light. I finally found something worth fighting for and so I decided that I didn’t want to make any other stops anymore. This was either going to make me or break me. I didn’t care either way!

After some months passed there came a day where I finally told myself that I didn’t care what life threw at me anymore, that I wasn’t where I needed to be but I felt way better. I decided that from that day forward giving up was no more part of my vocabulary, it wasn’t an option anymore. That’s the best decision I ever made because that’s the day the car broke down, the chains came off and for the first time in my whole life I felt free and happy. The first time of my existence where I felt like I mattered and I was worthy of love! I saw myself as a little girl suffering in silence and as a teen then an adult. I saw myself in my weakest moments and I realized that I wasn’t made to fail, but rather to succeed.

All those road trips I took through my life weren’t meant to destroy me. Those road trips were meant to make me stronger. Seeing myself from a hopeless angle made me realize that I was made to stand out, I was made for bigger things. I was made to show the world that even though bad things happen in life we end up where we choose to end up.
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We choose the lenses we pick up and look through. Don’t ever doubt yourself or your self-worth. Follow that inner voice inside you because that will never steer you wrong. That’s the voice of someone special inside of your heart. That’s the voice that will give you strength to move forward when you have no more strength for yourself. That inner voice will whisper in your ear don’t stop on that road when you want to steer back to those old roads from the past. Those roads from the past weren’t made to be forgotten, they were made to be driven through full force without picking up hitch hikers from the past rather to pick those like you and me and put them in the front seat so they too can clearly find their way just like you did. ​

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Author

Proclaiming God's Mercy and Grace can save lives and souls!